The Gracefully Aging Year

It is almost the close of day on the first day of the month, but I had to write something before midnight struck. It’s hard to believe that it is October already. I could’ve sworn it was just January. We, or at least I, say something to that effect every year, but this year I especially mean it. Just when I think I have gone through the toughest, bumpiest, twistiest emotional/mental/spiritual rollercoaster, I am strapped into another and my tolerance for rapid speed, quick changes and unexpected drops in altitude is put to the test.

My birthday is coming in November, as is my daughter’s. We’ll both be another year older and before we know it, it’ll be 2017. However, the biggest difference between this year and all the previous years when I made note of how quickly the year passed is that I can actually say that I accomplished something. I set a goal and I hit a milestone. Not that I haven’t accomplished things in previous years. Last year wasn’t the greatest, and neither was 2014 with the exception of the birth of my daughter. Actually, 2014 sucked pretty badly for me. The year prior was pretty good, though and 2012 fair enough.

I’ve had some lows this year, lows that I had hoped I wouldn’t hit again, ever. I had some highs that I’d hoped to maintain, but didn’t. Now I plan to not only reach them again, but to surpass them. I met some wonderful people…and experienced a loss (which wasn’t exactly loss based on my belief system, but it was and is still heartbreaking, nonetheless.) And for once, instead of trying to do everything else, trying to find a path that seems more acceptable, profitable and sustainable, I chose to do what comes naturally to me, which is to write.

This year feels as though it literally passed in the blink of an eye, just like any other year. It feels as if time is passing even faster now that I have a child. Fortunately, this year I have made better use of my time, especially the past four months, and have made tremendous progress. It has always been on my mind to write ever since I was a child. It has always been on my mind to be an entrepreneur since I was a teenager. I’ve taken many paths to self-employment, some of them leading to dead-ends, while others worked out fairly well for a while, but ultimately failed due to the consequences of the other dead-ends I had faced. I remember telling someone a few years back that I wanted to write, earn a living from my writing so that I could have the freedom to go where I wanted and be around for my future children. Going into my second year of motherhood, I had yet to actually do that. This year is different.

Am I making a living yet? No. I wish my book had been an overnight success, but I’m okay with having to put the work in. Am I finally okay with how I spend my time? For the most part. I’ve self-published my first book this year. I designed the cover, did my own editing and am constantly looking for marketing techniques. It is my intention to release my next book within the next week and to release another book in the Spring of 2017.

Honestly, I feel my year started in June. That’s when my life really began to change and I took on a different perspective. June was when I really began to take action. In four months I’ve gained more than 1,000 followers/supporters, which is far greater than I ever expected. I am so pleased with that number. I thought it would take longer to get to that point. But, to put an end to my rambling for this post, I look back on the past 10 months and reflect on how quickly they came and went. I reflect on the things I did and felt. I reflect on the highlights. Then, I think about how 2016 will come to a close. December is right around the corner. Time stands still for no one. Every time I ever said I would start tomorrow or next month or just said that I was “going to do/go/say etc.” and didn’t was another moment that passed that I’ll never get back in this lifetime. The days I didn’t feel like working out or doing this or that or whatever because I felt too tired to invest 45 minutes, when 45 minutes passed anyway. Time doesn’t care, so I had to start. And I have to manage as gracefully as possible.

pexels-photo-large

 

©LeTara Moore, 2016

 

Graceful

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